He (my son – Dylan) has moved from the car seat in the back row to the passenger side of my SUV and will soon sit in my seat, with my keys in his hand and I will be on the ‘other’ side. Dylan will be in the driver seat with a permit to drive on the road. What does this mean? I guess – I’m not in control of it all. Well, this isn’t ground breaking news but it breaks my heart to think of the distance (choices, opportunities, growth) that can separate us from those we love.
Sometimes we grow apart, by choice or out of necessity or simply because of lack. We sometimes fail to accept that people we love need to grow and evolve. Maybe, I’m guilty of all the above or just fumbling my way through this maze of parenting.
Either way, I can see that I need to make some personal adjustments. When I complete these internal tunes-up, I think I’ll be less stressed and possibly those around me will breathe easier because they will get the permit to be free – to be themselves – without unnecessary interference or distractions on the road – in the form of my “mama/Donna knows best” opinions. Well, I may interfere a little bit but in the form of “speed bumps” or “love taps” from time to time. Ya know? I mean, I gotta be free to be me too – right?
All jokes aside…this is less about just letting go, trusting others or acceptance. This is more about reaching deep inside myself to pull out the resistance that is seated at the doorway to my to faith. Resistance distracts me. My distractions and fears are feeders to my loved ones, friends and community – I must grant freedom within…Then, I have to pass it on. If this means, the keys to my car or or sitting on the ‘other’ (passenger) side – cool – I’ll survive – maybe, with a few less hairs on my head or a few rashes of the side of my face (after riding with my teenage son) – but it’s better than me – driving while under the influence of “fear”.