Remembering a time when I would navigate my days and would feel empowered by my choices based on things that needed to be done. No, not necessarily the time before parenthood but the time when I could start out the day reading the newspaper in the am with a cup of joe or latte. I’d return to my home office and handle my business then, pick-up my son from school with something yummy to eat in the car. We both appreciated the ‘comfort zone.’ That warm space that allows you to determine how fast you go and when to pause for thought but I struggle to find this comfy place now that I work a 40 hr, 9-5, M-F, Corp gig that pushes me into a grey space. No longer do I flow through my thoughts, I just push and move. Up and Down. Didn’t know I was missing my flow until I caught one stream of consciousness in New Orleans while visiting in mid-August.
I sit here now – in LA wondering how to create moments. The season is changing and our time remains scattered among the days. School begins. I want to park, jump out and walk with Dylan into the corridors – like a do over. I connected with the inner joy of the people in Nawlins’ – my kinda folk. They live above the ground and seem to find a way to touch the sky through music and dance – not through just high notes but swingin in the lows and pushin thru. I want to take flight too – not run or walk but soar above the concerns and fears. I need an aerial view to see the moment for what it is, recognize the straight from the crooked and sleep peacefully through the night.